Cultural Difference
Last summer two foreigners came to my grandmother's home. They are [were] (1) Mr. and Mrs. Reoge. They were from America. The place where my grandparents are now living in [living] (2) was the very house they used to spend their childhoods [in] (3)。 Their coming [arrival] (4) was a big surprise to me. I talked with them in that I can [so that I could] (5) practise my spoken English. Suddenly, Mr. Reoge said to me:“Your English is very good!” Mr. Reoge, a real native speaker, praised my English! I couldn't help smiling, but I heard myself said [saying ] (6) , “No, no!” Almost immediately I realized what kind of a mistake I had made. It's the difference between western and eastern cultures. [In the west you are not supposed to say “no” , while nodding your head with a smile. ](7)
I still remember clearly how in a strange way Mr. Reoge looked at me while I was smiling with happiness, but saying, “no”。 He was confused!
Though I've learnt a lot of cultural differences between Eastand West from books, it is the first time that I am strongly impressed by it[have ever been deeply impressed by them in real life]. (8)
複旦大學附中高三(5)王蕾
評 語
作者能在這麽短的篇幅內表達一個較深刻的主題是很不容易的。全文用詞和文章搆架也較爲老練,竝能較好地運用對話展開敘述。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下:
(1)時態用錯了。
(2)、(3) Where從句中 living in後麪的介詞 in應該去掉。因爲從句的連接詞where是連接副詞,在從句中作狀語。而“they used to spend their childhoods”這句話後麪要加上介詞in.因爲這句話在這裡作 houses 的後置定語,省掉了連接代詞which 或that,請比較下列兩句話:
This is the house (which)I lived in two years ago.
This is the house where (=in which) I lived two years ago.
(4)用 arrival 較好。
(5)這裡連接詞和時態都用錯了。
(6)這裡要用現在分詞。
(7)作者似乎沒能把意思表達徹底,故加上方括號內這句話,使意思更明了。
(8)It is the first time that從句中,一般要用現在完成時。
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