A Letter to a Professor from Taiwan

Feb. 28

　　Dear professor，

　　How glad I was to receive your New Year's card ！ My classmates saw it and they all admired me. You can't imagine how happy I was at that moment and I thank you for the beautiful card and stamps.

　　I can't forget that day when I was in Wuxi with my schoolmates. It was on that day that we met you on the way to Yixing. You kept telling us short stories which were very interesting. You were humorous and we were so attracted that we all forgot the time. “The trip was too short，” I said to myself when I was getting off the bus.

　　That day， after visiting Zhanggong Cave [Cavern ] （1） you seemed a bit tired. I wanted to help you to climb the steps [leading upward to the outside] （2）， but you said： “No， I can do [make it] （3） by myself. ” Your expression was like a child really [You looked as excited as a child] （4） . On the bus you told us that you had a transplanted （移植） heart. “Now it doesn't seem to be glad to work for me，” you said humorously. We all laughed， and also， began to respect you more. You see， you had been seriously ill， but you still live happily， work happily and give help to others.

　　Your smile， your eyes， your words， together with your spirit， will be in my mind all my life. That day you asked us toserve the people heart and soul. At first when I heard this， I was a little surprised， because for a long time I hadn't heard of such sayings. But you said that with truly deep emotion so that I was moved and felt a bit ashamed of myself too. I always thought of myself and seldom cared about others. At that moment my face turned red. Fortunately you didn't notice it， or I would feel [would have felt]（5） more embarrassed. You said you loved our New China， and you said we were fortunate to live in our great China. You also said that you believed you could come back to the mainland of China freely one day. I can't forget the shining tears in your eyes. Professor， I know you must love our country [motherland]（6）very much. I want to tell you that I believe you will come back freely soon [your dream will come true]（7）。 I miss you really. Every time I see the photos we have taken together， I think of you and your words. I will never forget your kind smile， firm expression and shining eyes.

　　I wish you happy and healthy forever， and wish you to come back as soon as possible.

　　Happy New Year. The Spring Festival is our own festival， isn't it？

　　Yours，

　　Xuehui

　　上海市行知中學 雪 暉

　　評 語

　　這是一封極其感人的信，反映了大陸與台灣同胞之間的血肉之情。作者對台灣教授的描述很生動。此外，作者充分利用了信函可以傳遞的親情感，來表達自己內心的感受。語句選用準確，句子結搆變化豐富。文中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）cavern 意爲a deep large cave.根據上下文，選用cavern較好。

　　（2）原文steps含義不夠明確，故根據上下文加上後麪幾個詞。

　　（3）原文do的指代不清，習慣上可用 make it（=succeed）。

　　（4）原文 your expression 與 child 不能相比。要麽說 achild's（expression），但也不好。故改之。

　　（5）這裡應該用與過去相反的虛擬式。

　　（6）改爲motherland，感情更充沛。

　　（7）原句較平淡，有重複感，改後較好。