A Good End Promises a New Beginning

“ass="superseo">Am I dreaming？” I asked myself when I received my score report for college entrance examination——it clearly read “503”。 I got mad with joy because I knew the further meaning of the mark 503 [what this score 503 meant to me] （1）——I had made it！ It was a good end to my study in Datong High School and for me it was also a new beginning for further study at college.

　　My high school life consisted of previewing and reviewing lessons and doing exercises， hardly with any entertainment（娛樂） of course. Sitting at desk took up most of my spare time. At that time， I was told that it was my responsibility to study hard. But I believe that studying hard was just doing me [myself] （2） a favor to realize my dream. I have long been dreaming of becoming an outstanding young man. In order to realize it， I tell myself to watch my step whenever something unfavorable comes into existence. Now I have fulfilled my task in high school with satisfaction. That's why I call it a good end. But it's not a real end. It's a new beginning. When the admission notice （錄取通知） came from Fudan University a few days ago， I knew it was another challenge. Many excellent students will enter Fudan and nearly all of them will be my [ possible] （ 3 ） rivals （競爭對手）。No one can say that he is always predominant（絕對的）。Thewinners will be those who study hardest.

　　Just as one of my closest friends said to me， “Let bygones be bygones（過去的事就讓它過去吧）”。I will never plunge into the successes made in the past [indulge in my past successes] （4） but I will try to create my personal future by hook or by crook （5）。Let the day be a milestone in my life. I will always remember the meaning of the words “end”and “beginning”！

　　大同中學高三（5）班 徐天

　　評 語

　　文章反映了一個高中畢業生在結束高考，即將開始大學生活時的激動心情，表達了這樣一個主題：過去的成勣衹代表過去，要用新的成勣去創造更爲煇煌的明天。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）原文有中國式英語之嫌，故改之。

　　（2）studying hard是自己的動作，賓語宜用反身代詞。

　　（3）加上possible，使rivals的語氣緩和一些。

　　（4）原句有中國式英語之嫌，故改之。

　　（5）by hook or by crook雖有“千方百計”的含義，但在很多場郃下，可表示“不擇手段”。根據上下文，用在此是否恰儅值得考慮。可改爲 with all my efforts.