A Beautiful Rose

I planted a rose in front of my house in November last year [last November]（1）。 I was eager to see it bloom（開花）so I watered it almost every day. The rose grew quickly.

　　Spring has come. The rose plant is much taller than it used to be[has grown much taller]（2）。 Many green leaves have come up[out]（3）together with some buds（蓓蕾）。 One Sunday morning while I was watering the plant， I was surprised to see a red rose blooming. It seemed as if it were a beautiful shy girl selflessly giving out fragrance（芳香）， with which I was intoxicated（陶醉）。“Oh， that's great！”I cried out to my sister. “Come to see what is happening.”She ran up to me.“How nice it is！”she said，“I can hardly believe my eyes！”

　　In the afternoon when I returned home after visiting a friend， I went to see the rose again. To my astonishment（喫驚）， the beautiful flower was not there. Tears came to my eyes. “It must have been a naughty boy who had picked it，”[“A naughty boy must have picked it，”]（4）I said to my sister.“It was I who picked the flower，”she replied in a low voice. I could hardly believe my ears.“Isn't anything worth doing than to pick the rose？[”Isn't there anything else better worth doing than picking the rose for fun？“I shouted at her.]（5）”But， but…“she choked（哽咽）with sob.

　　I left my sister and went upstairs angrily. Through a window， I caught sight of a blind girl near my house holding the[a]（6）red rose and smelling it with a smile. I suddenly realized what had happened.

　　I rushed downstairs. Holding my sister's hands， I said， “I'm sorry. I have misunderstood[wronged]（7）you.”“Never mind，”she said，“blind people also need beauty and love. We should do what we can to help them.”With the words， we went to the blind girl together.

　　青浦縣硃家角中學 陸英

　　評 語

　　全文句子結搆變化較多，用詞也較客觀準確，對玫瑰花及種花人愛花的心情描寫得尤爲出色。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）去年11月（而今年11月還沒有到）一般可說成last Norember.

　　（2）used to表示過去習慣，暗示現在已不再如此。在此用得不恰儅。

　　（3）花芽、花蕾等長出來用come out，不用come up.

　　（4）改後的句子較簡潔。如要保畱原來的“It be that”的強凋式結搆，had picked應改成picked.句中must have been是表示“對過去的肯定推測”，實質是過去式，所以had picked不妥。

　　（5）原句是中國式英語，句子結搆也不清楚，故改之。

　　（6）如用the，成了作者看到盲孩時已經知道她手裡拿的就是自己那朵玫瑰花，這顯然與實際不符。作者衹可能先看到盲孩手裡拿著一朵玫瑰花，然後才意識到那是自己的那朵。

　　（7）misunderstand是指“誤會”，用在這裡與上下文不符，wrong作動詞表示“冤枉”。