The First Day of My Winter Holidays

When daylight came [in] （1） gently through the window，I woke up but I still lay in bed with my eyes closed. Where am I？ Oh， yes！ I am in school； but why did the bell for class fail to ring？ What time is it now？ Am I likely to be late for class？ Thinking of these， I opened my eyes and sat up quickly and nervously. But I found myself unmistakably at home. It suddenly dawned on me that today was the first day of my winter holidays. I lay down again with a sign of relief.

　　But I could not fall asleep again. The room was extremely quiet. Dad and mum must have gone to work. I could hear nothing but [the ticks of] （2） the clock. It seemed that everything had been dumb or dead —— The world was deserted [I was in a deserted world] （3）。 An indescribable （難以形容的） loneliness crept （蔓延） towards me. I could hardly stand it and got up.

　　What was for breakfast？ Oh， it was set out right on the table —— bread arid milk. Much better than the meal in school. And there was no need to queue for a deadly long time before being served. Eating alone， however， I did not enjoy the food much. After all， good meals were no guarantee for a good mood.

　　“What shall I do next？” I muttered impatiently after having stuffed my stomach a bit. Since most of my classmates are from other cities， it was a daydream to visit them. The weather was so chilly and windy， and I was practically in no mood to stroll around.

　　Eventually， my eyes fell on my books， and smiled. Books are always my truly faithful companion when I feel lonely. Thus， with books I began my first day of the winter holidays.

　　中國民航上海中專91，21，B班 欒毅敏

　　評 語

　　本文描寫細膩，一連串問句用得很有意思。句子結搆和詞滙短語也用得較好。如：fail to ring， be likely to do， It suddenly dawned on me， with a sign of relief等等。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）加上in更自然通順。

　　（2）加上the ticks of更能渲染氣氛。

　　（3）原句有些中國式英語，故改之。