My New Shirt
For quite some time after I entered Leping Middle School, I had been longing for a beautiful new shirt, because all my shirts were worn out.
There was a nice green shirt in a shop-window on my way to school. Whenever I passed the shop, I would stop to have a look at it. As my family was not rich, the green shirt was too expensive for me to ask my parents to buy. [But how I wished I could have it!] (1)
One day, I went as usual to the shop to look at the shirt, but to my surprise the shirt was gone. So I went home, full of tears , [as if I had lost something precious] (2)。
As soon as I got home, Mother called for [called] (3) me in her room. I wiped away my tears at once, and went into the room. To my joy I found the beautiful green shirt lying on the bed. I came over to the shirt, picked it up, and looked at it carefully. [Yes! It was the one that had been in the shop-window and that I had been longing for so much.] (4) I came to my mother and threw myself into her arms. Tears were running down my cheeks when I said, “Thank you very much, Mother.”
That day was the happiest one I had ever had. I don't know how Mother saved up enough money for the shirt, but I have come to realize that although the shirt was costly, nothing is dearer than the love of my parents for me.
江西省樂平中學高三(4)班 葉鼕生
評 語
從對“襯衣”的“渴望”,到發現“襯衣不見了”時的“失落”,最後得到“襯衣”時的喜悅,以及由此領悟到“父母之愛的深切”。全文一氣呵成,感情真摯。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下:
(1)、(2)、(4)爲全文更加連貫和呼應,特作這些添加。
(3)叫喊某人用call sb.,不必加for,call for意爲“邀約”。
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