The Memories in Rain

It is raining outside——I like the rain of spring. I prefer sitting[enjoy sitting]（1） around while hearing the rain singing gently. Also[gently， as]（2）I like to be reminded of an American friend by the splendid rain.

　　It's two years since I met Christopher when spring-wind was waving on[breezing over]（3） the Bund（上海外灘）and the rain was caressing us in the face. We talked so much as if we'd been close friends， though it was the first time we'd met. I told him I loved the Bund because it was there that I could make up my mind to do things when I watched the Huangpu river flowing and the Orient Pearl TV Tower Standing [admired the Orient Pearl TV Tower]（4）。 He told me he loved the Bund of Shanghai today， because it was from there that he could get a view of the great construction taking place in China and the hard working Chinese people. Then we were talking cheerfully in the rain， and also from then on I liked rain for [came to like spring rain because] （5） it reminded me of Christopher.

　　Christopher once asked me to show him some places where he could enjoy typical Chinese food. Thinking that he came from a mid-class family in US. I took him to an expensive restaurant. But he insisted on eating at Yunnan Food Street， which was next to the restaurant. I thought maybe as a tourist he was more curious about common people's food. But when he told me he chose Yunnan Food Street because it was cheaper， I was puzzled——his first time in Shanghai， not being short of money…why？ Then he explained to me： Young American people like to be independent. They want little from their parents. If they want something expensive， they'll avoid relying on others. Instead， they will find a job in their spare time and save enough money. Christopher also told me that all of his money for this tour had been earned when he went to university in the daytime and went to work at night， and not a single dollar had been provided by his parents. What a great surprise I got！

　　It is still raining. I like the rain as it brings the greetings from the other side of the world.

　　上海市李惠利中學高三（1）班 繆佳訢

　　評 語

　　從春雨帶來的廻憶入手，描述與一位美國朋友的交往，重點突出了年輕人應該如何自立這一值得思索的問題。行文較流暢，文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）prefer後可接動名詞或不定式。但一般來說，後接動名詞時，往往後麪要有“介詞to 另一動名詞（表示不喜歡的動作）”與之呼應，如：

　　I prefer sitting to standing.

　　He preferred staying at home to going to the cinema.

　　而接不定式時，後麪可以用“rather than 動詞原形”引出不喜歡做的動作，也可不用，如：

　　I prefer to sit rather than stand.

　　I prefer to sit.

　　另外，這裡根據上下文，似乎竝沒有相比較而不喜歡的動作，因此，還是改爲enjoy比較好。

　　（2）從I prefer…到…the splendid rain這兩句話，有內在聯系，後句好像是前句的原因，從全文結尾也可看出這點，不如改爲主從句，用as表示原因。

　　（3）春風微微，可用動詞breeze，介詞on改成over爲好。

　　（4）watch的對象往往是在活動的，watch Huangpu River flowing可以，但watch the Orient Pearl TV Tower standing這樣靜態的東西就有些不自然，故改爲admire.

　　（5）這裡要改爲“came to like…”，表示漸變過程，比原句自然。