Bamboo

I liked[began to like]（1）bamboo at the first sight of it， because I was deeply impressed by its life-force.

　　Last summer， I made a trip to the Muogan Mountains. Situated（位於）in Zhejiang Province， the Muogan Mountains is famous for bamboo. Because of this， the mountain is a tourist attraction in summer.

　　A vast amount of bamboo stands straight on the mountains.In the scorching（炎熱的）summer， high bamboo plants with their slim leaves stand still， hiding the villas（別墅）。 However， towards the evening， they sway（搖擺）in the gentle evening breeze with their slender leaves brushing（擦刮）the roofs and walls of the houses. Their shade makes the temperature in the house much lower than outside[than that outside]（2）。 People can do whatever they feel like doing in the cool house without sweating（出汗）。 This side effect of the bamboo creates an ideal place for people who dislike hot weather.

　　During my stay in Muogan， I paid a visit to a local“Bamboo Exhibition.”I was surprised when I entered the hall which was a world of bamboo products. On display items[The items on display]（3）， from shelters to utensils（用具）， were all made of bamboo. They displayed all species（種類）of hamboo that exist in the world. There was a bamboo house with bamboo chairs and tables， beautiful and comfortable. What struck me most was a pair of hand-made bamboo lamps. One was a lifelike dragon and the other an uprising phoenix（鳳凰）。 Thousands of strips（條）of bamboo no thicker than hair shaped the dragon and phoenix. During my visit， I came to know why people use bamboo in their life. It can withstand（忍受）hardship and resist rotting（腐爛）。

　　I like bamboo most importantly because the high， straight plant represents a spirit of strong will， never losing heart. If it were ever weak-minded， how could tender（嫩的）young bamboo shoots（竹筍）break the hard layers of earth and dirt？ Whenever I meet with difficulties， I always think of bamboo which gives me courage and strength to overcome the difficulties.

　　by Ye Zhengdao

　　評 語

　　文章首先從靜態、動態兩個方麪對竹子外貌作了生動的描寫，然後通過對竹子展覽會的介紹，描述了竹子的多種用途，在最後一段中突出描寫了竹子的性格。全文用詞準確，且無重大語法錯誤。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）at the first sight of sth. 有“第一眼看到某物（就怎麽樣）”的含義，故謂語加上began予以呼應。

　　（2）原句中in the house作後置定語脩飾the temperature，而more than結搆中要求比較的兩者在語法成分上相一致，因此outside前要加上that以代替the temperature，這樣一來outside也成了that的後置定語，就能加以比較了。

　　（3）on display應該是item的後置定語。