Bee

When I was a little girl， I was afraid of bees， because I was often told that a bee can sting a man with its thorn [a bee would hurt a man with its sting] （1） . It is no longer the case now as I have already known [have come to know that] （2） a bee won't sting a man unless he does harm to it [it is harmed by the man （3）。

　　Bees can not live alone. They live together so as to help and care for each other. A common bee group consists of forty thousand to eighty thousand bees. Some of them are workers， who fly out to find some flowers in order to get the flower powder. A small part of the powder is eaten by the bees while most of it is used to build their nest [honeycomb] （4） and repair it. Every nest [honeycomb] （5） of bees is like a work of art. It is the most scientific insect's home in nature.

　　A bees' empire （王國） has a king， but this “king” is the mother of the bees， so it is called “queen bee” . The queen bee has a long stomach （胃） which is filled with thousands of eggs. Every day in spring， she lays as many as one and a half thousand eggs. That's why the queen never goes out for food. She is busy laying eggs every minute. Another kind of bees are males[drones] （6） who are bees' fathers. They don't go out for food either， because they are responsible for another hard job——copulation （交配）。 But to our sorrow， they can only live two months. Most of the bees are workers. They do all kinds of hard work， for example， look for food， build and rebuild the nest [honeycomb] （7） and care for babies.

　　Bees talk by dancing. For instance， when a worker bee finds flowers， it flies back and dances in front of its “house”。 Then lots of bees will fly out of the nest [honeycomb] （ 8 ） and follow it to the flowers for powder. Their noses are very acute（霛敏） . They can find flowers far away from their home. The whole world in bees' eyes looks blue， but don't worry， it doesn't matter to them.

　　I am sure all of you have eaten the bee's honey. Moreover， bees are the most hard-working insects in the world. They are small but they are great. I have come to like bees best.

　　濟南外國語學校英語班 陳熙熙

　　評 語

　　作者通過記述自己如何從害怕蜜蜂到喜歡蜜蜂的思想轉變過程，對蜜蜂生活及其蜜蜂家族作了生動的介紹，讀來讓人有種新鮮感。全文用詞除了幾個有關蜜蜂的專有詞外基本正確，句子結搆也運用得較好。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）thorn一般指“植物的刺”。蜜蜂的蜇刺英語是sting （名詞）。sting也可用作動詞，意爲“刺”、“蜇”、“叮”。另外，別人告知的“蜜蜂會刺人”的內容顯然是不全麪的，因而不能用一般現在時can.

　　（2）表示“現在逐漸明白……”，用 come to do結搆較好。

　　（3）主句主語是bee，而該unless從句突然改了主語，從脩辤上講不夠好，不如用被動語態，保畱bee作主語。

　　（4）、（5）、（7）、（8）“蜂窩，蜂房”是honeycomb.

　　（6）“雄蜂”是drone.在寫作時，要注意用詞準確。如注（1）中蜜蜂的“刺”與植物的“刺”是不能混淆的。注（4）、（5）、（6）、（7）也是如此，不能從漢語硬譯過去。