A Letter to an Australian Teacher

Dec. 20

　　Dear Miss Rosalba Demarte，

　　I have got your address from Shanghai Students' Post. I'm very glad to learn [to have learned]（1）that you are interested in English teaching in the city of Yizhou.

　　My name is Zhou Shiwen. I am eighteen years old. Collecting stamps is my hobby. I like swimming and listening to music， too. I am a student of Senior Three. Now I am busy preparing for the coming college entrance examination in July.

　　Among all the subjects I like English best. We have seven English classes every week. Mr Yao， our English teacher， is an ordinary-looking man in his forties. Although he has never studied at a college， he is very good at teaching. He is kind to us， but he is strict with us in our studies at the same time.

　　I often write letters to my sister in English. She can't find out the mistakes that I have made in the letters because she still studies in a junior middle school. So I am very eager to make penfriends with someone who masters English. On July 16， 1995， two teachers from USA came to our county and gave us a lecture. I was very nervous when I talked with them because it was the first time I met [had ever met] （2） and talked with foreign guests. They encouraged me and said ，“Here we are all good friends. You needn't be nervous.” We talked for about half an hour about our studies， the local weather and about their homeland——America——in simple English. How I wish I could have more such chances to talk with native speakers in English or to write to them in English！ Now I have got to know of you. How I want to make friends with you！ I think that writing letters in English can improve my English. I want to ask you how to learn English well. I think I can make progress in English with your help.

　　I live in a small town named Longan of Luocheng County. Longan is 40 kilometres away from the big county town. It is only an hour's ride from Luocheng to the city of Yizhou.

　　I am very sorry to know that you usedn't to eat the lark [you are not used to having lard ] （3）。 How I wish to send some rapeseed oil（菜油） to you！ But I am afraid that I haven't time to do that right now because we also have lessons on Sunday. I want to know if you go home for the Spring Festival. I want to visit you and bring some rapeseed oil to you very much（4）in my winter holidays.

　　I am looking forward to getting your reply.

　　With the best wishes！

　　Sincerely yours，

　　Zhou Shiwen

　　廣西羅城高中文科補習班 周詩文

　　評 語

　　周詩文同學懷著學好英語的強烈願望，大膽地與素不相識的澳大利亞女教師通信聯系，實現了自己求教於外籍老師的心願，也使自己的信實現了預定的交際功能。這封信用詞貼切，既熱情又注意一定的分寸，特別是結尾処，了解到外籍教師不習慣喫葷油，主動提出送菜油給她，顯示了對他人的關心。某些語言上的不足脩改點評如下：

　　（1）因獲悉某消息而高興，不定式要用完成時，試比較：

　　I am sorry to say that you are wrong.（先抱歉，再表示你是不對的。）

　　I am sorry to have said that.（對已說過的話表示抱歉。）

　　（2）這裡應該用過去完成式，加上ever語氣更通順。

　　（3）作者想表示“you過去是不喫豬油的”。不如直說現在不習慣，讀起來讓人更清楚。另外，“豬油”應爲lard，原文拼寫錯了。

　　（4）very much是脩飾want的，放在這裡容易引起歧義，應放在want前爲好。