Pronouns and relative adjectives

Another linking strategy is to make use of words that help us keep our sense of direction—pointers and transitions. Some of the most useful pointers and transitions are also some of the least appreciated by students: pronouns and adjectives to show possession and relation, like he, his, this, which, they, and it. The definition of a pronoun is a word that can stand in for a noun. It always points to some noun or thing called the antecedent （ante is a Latin word meaning before: the antecedent goes before the pronoun）. Relative adjectives are similar: they show relation or ownership （my book, his argument, its strengths）.

　　Pronouns and relative adjectives perform the invaluable function of calling your reader's attention to some noun you have already used without requiring you to use it again. This is an economical way of reminding your reader of your argument. Many students tend to see these simple words as too humble for college writing, and prefer to invoke the full weight of a name or other noun. But a humble pronoun can sharpen a sentence:

ORIGINAL REVISION
Even after Antony remarries, Cleopatra is still an integral part of Antony's life.
Even after Antony remarries, Cleopatra is still an integral part of his life.

　　（Further revision might try to build around an active verb.）

　　Here's another example, a paragraph about Moses that sinks under the weight of its repetitions of its proper names, the Israelites and Moses:

　　The Israelites were unhappy with Moses and wished he would leave them alone. When God sent the ten plagues, Pharaoh was forced to let the Israelites go. The Israelites then eagerly and willingly followed Moses from Egypt. The Israelites would not have been so willing to follow Moses if God had not intervened and shown that he supported Moses. The Israelites also showed how easily they would turn their backs on Moses when they were being pursued by the Egyptians. They panicked and again cursed Moses for bringing them out of Egypt.

　　Reading this is like trying to run in snowshoes. Here's a possible revision, which besides showing how useful pronouns can be also suggests some other ways to improve the passage's flow::

　　The Israelites did not immediately accept Moses' vision. But once Pharaoh relented and let them depart, they eagerly followed Moses. However, when the Egyptians pursued them they at once lost faith in Moses, and cursed him for bringing them out of Egypt to die in the wilderness.

　　Note the other changes made in this passage, all contributing to a quicker and livelier read （things like using active verbs, building clauses around their logical actors, and ending on the obvious point to emphasize）.

　　Another example of stiffness due to fear of pronouns:

ORIGINAL REVISION
Hamlet fights with his identity while trying to fulfill the ghost's demand for revenge. Hamlet loves to learn and ask questions about everything. But Hamlet's search for knowledge eventually conflicts with his sense of duty.
Hamlet fights with his identity while trying to fulfill the ghost's demand for revenge. He loves to learn, and ask questions about everything. But his search for knowledge eventually conflicts with his sense of duty.

　　Are you starting to see how pronouns and relative adjectives can help your prose sound freer? Here's a list of some useful relative and demonstrative adjectives and pronouns. All are perfectly acceptable in academic papers; all are"formal" in any reasonable sense:

this
which
them
many

that
he
him
most

these
she
her
several

those
it
all
some

who
they
few
none