請幫我看看下麪這段英文句子我寫的對嗎?

請幫我看看下麪這段英文句子我寫的對嗎?
中文內容是：“張先生告訴我他7月14日想去德國,想辦理商務簽証,請發一個商務邀請函給我們“
Mr Zhang told me that he will go to Germany at 14 July ,he want deal with business visa,could pls send us a Business Letters of Invitation,thanks.

網友廻答：

匿名網友

這是正確的哦：Mr.Zhang told me that he wants to go to Germany on July 14th,want to apply for business visa,please send an invitation to our business thanks
你可[kě]以對照一下看看!

db標簽