My Fathers Bike

Vehicle has become more and more popular in the past few years. Many people have motorbikes. But， my father still rides his old bike. This afternoon， when I came back from school， I saw my father's bike against the wall. It is [was] （1） old and broken， but I remember it used to be very beautiful and take me to many places in my childhood. More than twelve years ago， when I was a child， my father usually took me to school with this bike. Now I noticed it was not as beautiful as before. I always think it would be better for rather to change a new one [change it for a new one] （2）。 However， he hasn't. I still remember that one day I had a high fever at midnight， and it was with thisbike that Father took me to the hospital at once.

　　Now I am a student of senior high school. I have my own bike. Surely， it looks much more beautiful than my father's. But I don't know why I'm always feeling that my father's bike much fairer than mine [my father's bike is much more beautiful than mine] （3）。

　　My father has done too [so] （4） much for me with it.

　　People say，“The mother's love is the greatest.”But I think Father's love is equally the greatest.

　　上海松江縣第三中學高一（2）班 李歡穎

　　評 語

　　兒女贊敭自己父母親的文章不少，但本文不是從正麪平鋪直敘，而是從描寫父親的自行車入手，頗有新意。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）原文時態有誤。

　　（2）原文成了“換掉新車”了，故改之。

　　（3）原文that是從句引導詞，但後麪沒了謂語動詞。另外，fair也用得不妥。既然上文多次用到beautiful，爲了呼應，強調，這裡仍可使用。

　　（4）too有“過度”的含義，故改之。