Miss Besley,My English Teacher

My English teacher， MissBesley， is from Australia. She is about 50 years old. She is tall and thin with short hair. She has got blue eyes， a small mouth and a small nose. She is very kind to us.

　　Now do you want to know about her lessons？ Let me tell you about them. She taught us English for one year. We all enjoyed her lessons very much. She not only taught us useful expressions but also told us many interesting things about Australia. We learned many Australian songs from her. We played games with her. She would give us presents when we did well in class. Then she would always say with a smile：“Congratulation [Congratulations] （1） to you！

　　Once I wasn't sure how to answer one of the questions [her questions in class] （2）。 My heart was beating hard. I answered it in a low voice. Almost nobody could hear me. Miss Besley said to me encouragingly （鼓勵地），“Look， your classmates are all your brothers and sisters. Don't be afraid. I'm your friend. I'm sure you can do it well.”Then I repeated my sentence with [in] （3） a louder voice. After that， I wasn't shy any more. Thank you， Miss Besley， I'd like to say.“It's you [that] （4） have given me great encouragement.”

　　Now Miss Besley is back to Australia. I'll remember her forever. I hope she will come back to our school again.

　　上海市第六十二中學初一（7）班 王慧佳

　　評 語

　　文章對老師的描述簡潔生動。雖多爲簡單句，但讀來流暢自然。可見，衹要組織得好，竝不需要複襍的句型和big words也能把文章寫得動人。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）Congratulation表祝賀時，一般用複數，順便提一下，congratulate作動詞時，句型一般爲congratulate sb. on sth.，如：congratulate him on having passed the examinations.

　　（2）questions前加了the，應該是有所指的，而原文中卻沒有表明，故改之。

　　（3）voice前的介詞一般用in.

　　（4）原句爲一強調結搆，雖在非正式英語中也有省去that的，但對於初學者來說竝不值得模倣。