An Adventure

In the novel The Adventure of Tom Sawyer， the hero always calls his exploring or camping outside the town an“adventure”。 Now I'd like to tell you an“adventure”， virtually（實際上地）a terrific experience， which I had in March.

　　We have a small flat separate（分離的）from the place we are living. A gas water-heater（煤氣熱水器）was installed in the bathroom of that flat about ten years ago. We used to[will]（1）have a shower there if it is not very cold. It was Saturday last time[last Saturday]（2）；Dad took me there. When I began to have a bath， he went away to buy something. After a while， I felt a bit dizzy（頭暈）。“It doesn't matter. I must have washed my hair for too long，”I thought. So I rinsed out the shampoo （漂去洗頭膏）at once. However， I didn't feel better at all. Then I opened the bathroom window wider. It's[It was]（3）better then. So I go[went]（4）on showering. But I got so weak that I fell on the side of the bathtub（浴缸）。 My heart was beating horribly fast. I tried my best to get out of the bathroom.

　　A few minutes later， I found myself lying on the icy floor， body bare. I struggled up without my knowing it. I could not believe that I had fallen down. But the wet body-shaped print on the floor proved that I did [had]（5）！ Since the flat hasn't [hadn't]（6）been cleaned for months， my skin was covered with dirt. I went back into the bathroom to wash it off.

　　Soon I went out and I fell down again. I was too dizzy to realize that there was a gas leak（煤氣泄漏）！ Some time later， Dad came back. I was then in the bathroom. I didn't know when I had got back there. Dad asked me to come out at once. However， I just couldn't move but kept breathing deeply.

　　It took me a long time to get dressed， of course， outside the bathroom. I didn't feel well until my parents took me to the hospital. I couldn't tell whether I had fainted away. According to the blood test report， CO was 16.1% in my red cell. It's[It was]（7）not very serious， but I had to take the high-pressure oxygen therapy（高壓氧治療）， as the norma1 CO standard is only 0%～2%.

　　In the oxygen cabin（氧氣艙）， I noticed that， almost every day， new patients who were suffering from gas poisoning might be took[were sent]（8）in.“What a close call（僥幸脫險）！”Most of the people around would say. Once， I suddenly had a sickening feeling： the gas was really a killer. I want to tell you， my friends， that we must be very careful with gas. Properly used， it is a great help. If something goes wrong without being noticed， it's a matter of life and death.

　　上海市南模中學 蓆習

　　評 語

　　文章圍繞記敘文的五個W要素完整地記敘了自己險些煤氣中毒釀成大禍的經過，重點描述了自己煤氣中毒後的反應，由於是親身經歷，因此文字很生動。語言運用也不錯，有些詞語的使用反映出作者有相儅的英語基礎，如：install， rinse out， therapy， a close call（僥幸脫險）等。但作者在時態把握上存在一定問題，文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）used to表示現在已不存在的過去習慣，但根據上下文似乎事實竝非如此，故改之。

　　（2）原文對“上星期”表達錯誤。

　　（3）、（4）、（5）、（6）、（7）時態有誤。

　　（8）原文動詞take使用不儅。