On Failure
Everyone must [You may] (1) have heard of the proverb: “Failure is the mother of success. ” But in spite of knowing this, people are afraid of failure.
Maybe there are two kinds of conditions that people deal with failure [attitudes that people take towards failure] (2) . One is [that] (3) when they fail, they feel themselves inferior, and lose confidence in themselves. They don't study hard anymore. People of this kind are cowards (懦夫)。 They can't stand up to failure. Of course, they will never go forward. The other one is [that ] (4 ) when they fail , they will encourage themselves and find out the reason why they fail [have failed](5 ) and try to avoid the same mistake next time. They have faith in their ability. “Success will belong to us if we put our heart into the thing we are doing. ” They always say so and they always do so. They will not stop studying hard for a moment of failure, but they will study even harder because they want to show that they are not foolish.
I think the latter (後者) attitude is correct. Failure, in fact, is not terrible because failure sometimes is much more valuable than success. If you cope with failure correctly, you'll be a successful man in the future. But above all you must try to trust yourself first. We should know that even a successful man may have failed many times before they succeeded. Here, I would like to say to the people who belong to the first kind: “Don't be afraid of failure and success will beckon to (召喚) you. ”
廣東省潮州市師範學校935班 魏曉虹
評 語
這是一篇結搆典型的英語議論文,先擺出正反兩方麪的看法,然後表明自己的意見,再加以証明:失敗是常有的事,然而,衹有正確對待失敗,才能迎來成功。文章行文較爲流暢,語句結搆也富有變化。文中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下:
(1)原文似乎過於武斷,故改之。
(2)原文想表示“人們對待失敗有兩種情況”,但有中國式英語之嫌,故改之。
(3)、(4)這裡均爲表語從句再套when引導的時間狀語從句,要加上表語從句的連接詞that.
(5)這裡用完成時更能表示動作的先後關系。
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