The Standing Jest
In this class, it seemed that no one liked him and no one cared for him. He was only a standing jest (被嘲弄的人)。
He came to our class last year. as soon as the teacher introduced him to us, saying that he was from Guizhou (貴州), some boys and girls laughed noisily. Why?! I was very angry. Only because he was from a poor place? [I knew why they laughed. They thought he was from a poor place. I felt ashamed for them.] (1) I myself had been in Guizhou for about five years. It's beautiful and quiet. [It's a beautiful place where you can enjoy a peaceful life which you can't possibly do in a noisy large city.] (2) While thinking, I noticed that his left foot was lame [he was lame in his left leg]. (3) “A poor boy,” I thought.
So he stayed in our class and sat in the corner [was seated in a corner of the classroom] (4) . He wasn't much of a talker, and his study was just so-so. So no one seemed to show interest on [in] (5) him. Occasionally the classmates talked of him. They would look at him for a minute, with strange expression [a strange expression] (6)。 They looked down upon him. I knew that.
The boys often made fun of him. Once when he passed by them, a boy shouted with laughter , “Look at that strange bird!” following him and pretending to be lame, “Like a duck!” All the boys laughed. The new boy said nothing but walked seemingly with effort and pain [walked away with effort and pain] (7)。 I took pity on him and said to the boys, “How can you play jokes on [laugh at ] (8) his lameness?” The boy suddenly turned round and looked at me. There was a strange expression in his eyes. It was a mixture of sadness, disappointment and thankfulness. The boys turned a deaf ear to me, all laughing cruelly [coolly] (9) .
Time passed quickly. When a new year came, I noticedthat the boy from Guizhou didn't turn up in class. I wondered what had happened to him. After class, I asked one of the boys. “He went back to Guizhou,” he answered.
“What a pity he can't come. He was always a good boy, he added. I felt sorry, but at the same time I felt surprised that these boys should have changed their attitude [towards the lame boy] (10)。
Then at the class meeting, the teacher read us a letter from the boy after he returned to Guizhou. The boy became lame two years ago when playing football. He came to Wuxi to see a famous doctor who was trying to cure him. I can still remember some words in his letter. “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you.”
What surprised me most was the fact that the boy was not from Guizhou at all. He was from Hong Kong. There he had often been made fun of because of his lameness. So he wanted to live with his grandmother, whose home is in Guizhou.
Well, the boy used to be a standing jest in our class, but now when we have got to know all these things about him, we have to ask ourselves this question: who is the real standing jest in the end?
無錫市青山中學高三(1)班 曹寅珺
評 語
文章反映了一個很有思考意義的主題。遣詞造句和搆思佈侷也很有特色。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下:
(1)原句較散,另外,把貴州看成是窮地方,應是那些同學的看法,故加上they thought.
(2)把整個貴州說成quiet不恰儅,改後更達意。
(3)說人跛足習慣用法是 be lame in one's left/right leg,類似的還有be deaf in one's ear,be blind in one's eye等等。
(4)原句有“主動去坐在一個角落”的感覺。改後較好。
(5)show interest in sth.不用介詞on,注意英、漢語的不同。
(6) with expression是“有表情地”(即不是“乾巴巴地”)做某事,例如:She read the poem with expression. (她聲情竝茂地朗誦詩。)然而expression表示某種“神色”、“臉色”時用作可數名詞,例如:That dog has such a wise expression that he seems almost human.(那衹狗有種聰明的神色,它似乎懂人性。)
(7)改後加上away更切郃原意。
(8)to play a joke on這個詞組後麪以人爲賓語,而lameness竝非人,故改用laugh at(嘲笑)。
(9)cruelly用詞太重,改爲coolly(冷淡地)較妥帖。
(10)改後使意思更清楚。
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