Expecting

Having stuck a stamp on the envelope， I put the letter into the postbox. It would fly away with my strong wish. I had a breathing spell （咒語）。 I knew I would spend the following days in expecting good news. It was my first time to write a composition and post it to a newspaper. I didn't know whether I would succeed or not. I was not sure of myself. After all， it was the first time. But I was eager to see some day my little composition would be printed in the newspaper with my name and address [on it] （1）。

　　One week， two weeks， three weeks had passed [passed]（2）， but there was no news about my contribution （投稿）。 I got worried and discouraged （灰心）。 I even thought it hadn't been posted [might have been lost on its way] （3） to the newspaper office. But I still went to the school's reception office （收發室） to wait for the answer every day. Gradually， the man in the reception office got to know me and knew why I came to his office every day. Sometimes when he saw me coming towards his office， he would shake his head disappointedly and told me not to lose my confidence. I was thankful to him but I got even more discouraged. At last I lost hope about the composition， but one afternoon I was doing my lessons in the classroom when the man of the reception office appeared at the door with a newspaper in his hand. He smiled， and then told me that my composition had been printed. I looked at the newspaper， it was true！ My composition， and my name were there in black and white. I was so excited that I couldn't say a word to express my joy.

　　江囌張家港市梁豐高級中學高一（1）班 邵玲玲

　　評 語

　　文章生動地描寫了一個急切盼望投稿成功的學生的心理。從充滿信心到灰心喪氣，而後又在絕望之時得到了好消息，如此戯劇性的描寫增加了文章的可讀性。另外，對收發室老師的襯托性的描寫也使文章增色不少。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）加上on it，使表達更清楚一些。

　　（2）這裡沒有必要用過去完成時。

　　（3）根據上下文意思，是懷疑郵侷是否將信丟失，而原文讀來讓人感到是自己沒有寄，故改之。