What Good Advice

I had a very good time on October 12th. It was sunny. In the early morning， my father took me to the village of Xidi with three foreigners. They were all my father's new friends. They came from three different countries——America， England and Germany. The man from Germany was called Y. Maeyama， who worked in the University of Frankfurt in Germany and was very humorous. All of them were professors and doctors.

　　They visited Yixian upon invitation. It was the first time for them to come here. I was very lucky because I got many good chances to talk with them during the day. They were very kind and friendly to me. I valued very much my first chance of practising spoken English with foreigners. So I tried my best to talk with them in English as much as I could.

　　When I didn't understand what they said， they always wrote it down on a piece of paper. They told me if I wanted to speak English well， my face must be like the corner of the Great Wall. How interesting！ As we know， the corner of the Great Wall is very thick. I understand I should not be shy or afraid when I speak English. What good advice it is！ It is true that many of us are afraid to speak English， especially before many people， because they are afraid of making mistakes and of being laughed at. So they have missed many good chances to practise. For a language study （1）， practice is very important. An English proverb says： “Practice makes perfect.” If we want to improve our English， we should be brave enough to speak English wherever we are——in class or out of class. Dr. Y. Maeyama also encouraged me to work hard at English and to learn something about the English-speaking countries. He said this would give much help to my English study.

　　When we arrived[arrived at]（2）the village of Xidi， they [the three foreigners]（3）warmly invited me to have a photo taken with them. I was very happy.

　　It was getting dark before I realized[it] （4）。 I had to leave. I said good-bye to them. In the distance I could see them waving their hands to me.

　　Now， I think I've learnt a lot from them. I really want to say to them： Thank you very much. I will never forget the advice which you gave me and I will do as you said.（5）

　　安徽省黟縣中學高二（4）班 汪 琴

　　評 語

　　文章夾敘夾議，重點記敘了外國朋友提出的學習建議，有一定的啓發意義。另外，文章的行文也較流暢。但是，有一些顯然屬於粗心造成的錯誤，這說明我們在作文中必須認真仔細，養成寫完文章通讀檢查的習慣。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）study在泛指學習動作時，一般用作不可數名詞。儅它前麪加不定冠詞時，往往表示“對……進行一次探索研究”，如make a study of Shakespeare's plays.study作學科解，常常用作複數，如give time to one's studies，因此，原文還是去掉不定冠詞a爲好。

　　（2）“arrive at/in 目的地”，原文是不應該犯的錯誤。

　　（3）換了一段，they指代不清。

　　（4）realize表示“意識”時爲及物動詞，後麪必須加上適儅的賓語。

　　（5）這段似乎可以去掉，去掉後，反而使結尾更有廻味之処。