Money Made with My Own Hands

Our school library has students for its librarians. I am one of them. Before each new school term， our school library has to get new textbooks to the school from bookshops. There are eight student-librarians and four teachers to do the job——carrying and putting in order about 2000 sets of books. It is a very hard job.

　　I first did it last summer holidays. There were so many books that they looked like a small hill. We transported them to [the] （1） school in a big truck and by that time we were all wet through [with sweat]. （2） Then， there was another important thing to do. We had to take all the books up to the library， which was on the second floor [of our school building] （3）， and separated them by each grade and each class. An hour later， I felt so tired that I couldn't go on walking with books. But seeing that （4） others working very hard， I stood up and began to carry the books again. I shouldn't have stopped though I was a girl. It was getting hotter and hotter， but we had only two electric fans in the library. Two hours， and four hours passed…At five o'clock we finished our work at last. We all felt very tired with sweat running down like raindrops， but no one complained. At that time， the teacher said：“We have too many books this term， so you are quite worn-out. I， on behalf of the school leaders， express our heartfelt thanks to you. We don't have much money， so we only give each of you ten yuan. You must accept it.” I held the money very happily. Although it was only ten yuan， it was the money made with my own hands.

　　北京工業大學附中高二（3）班 李卉

　　評 語

　　文章基本上躰現了英語記敘文的“五個W”和“一個H”的要求。結郃幫圖書館搬書這一勤工儉學活動，表達了學生樹立勞動觀唸的重要性，以及用自己的勞動獲取報酧後的喜悅心情。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）這裡school表示的是一個特定的地點，而非“上學”等抽象概唸，因此前麪加上定冠詞the爲好。

　　（2）加上with sweat使句子意思更完整些。

　　（3）原文僅說the second floor，表達不清。

　　（4）這個that是多餘的。“see 賓語 分詞”表示“看到……乾……。