Mother,Let Me Help You

The factory in which my mother used to work was shut down one year ago. A lot of workers had to leave their work， including my mother. Several months had passed but most of the unemployed workers still didn't get jobs again[get new jobs] （1）although the local government tried its best. So Mother decided to find a job by herself. After making a great effort， she got a job as a cleaner[street cleaner] （2）， in charge of a street [responsible for keeping clean a part of street] （3）about 200 metres long. Although the pay was low， the work conditions were bad， Mother said she was glad to do this work. But I thought people would look down upon us.

　　Today I am free at home. In the morning， Mother asked me if I could help her with the cleaning work in the street. At first I wanted to say：“I'm afraid I can't for[because]（4）I have some homework to do today，”as I was afraid of being recognized（認出）by my classmates， but when I saw the white hairs on Mother's head， I said instead，“Oh， yes， I'll go with you， Mum.”After breakfast， we went to the street. I pushed a cart （手推車）for collecting rubbish， holding my head down and not daring to see the people walking in the street. I always felt that someone was looking at me， laughing at me…

　　“Hello， Li Jing.”Oh， dear. It was Mr Chen， who taught us Chinese.“Mr Chen， I， I…”I didn't know what to say. My face turned red.“Oh， don't be so shy. You are [a]（5）hard-working boy. The cleaners [street cleaners]（6） are important and honorable. We should thank you and your mother. The other[Your]（7）classmates should learn from you. Good boy， don't look down upon yourself， hold your head high. Bye！”

　　Then I realized that I was honorable as a son of a street cleaner. I should held my head high. After finishing the hard work and then looking at the tidy（乾淨的）street， I felt that Mother and I were the most honorable people in the world. Mother， I'll help you whenever I am free.

　　安徽省阜陽市穎東區城郊中學高二（2）班 李靖

　　評 語

　　隨著我國經濟結搆改革的不斷深入，“下崗”，“再上崗”對學生來說已不是陌生的詞。如何對待自己父母親的下崗與再上崗，如何看待不同的職業，是廣大學生應該正確廻答的問題。李靖同學的這篇文章抓住這一社會熱點，先交代母親如何下崗，後又如何主動儅了“掃街工”，然後用生動的筆觸詳細記敘了自己從“怕別人認出在幫母親掃街”到“自豪地昂起頭準備以後再來這樣做”的轉變過程，其中對內心活動的描述較爲出色。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）原句again與still呼應似乎不如用new job來得好。

　　（2）、（6）光說cleaner一般表示打掃辦公室、建築物等処的清潔工。馬路清潔工用street cleaner爲好。順便說一下，dustman一般不指掃馬路的清潔工，而是挨家挨戶收集垃圾的。

　　（3）原句in change of用得不妥。

　　（4）for表示原因，沒有因果關系，衹是補充說明理由。這裡因果語氣較強，改用because爲好。

　　（5）原文漏了不定冠詞。

　　（7）原文是相對“我”而言，再用the other classmates，讀起來好像“我”也是一個classmate了，故改之。