My Hometown

My hometown is a beautiful place. The most attractions [attractive things] （1） are the river in front of my house and the green hills opposite my house. On the hills there is a dense pine forest [are dense pine woods] （2）。 The river， in which there are all kinds of big and smooth cobbles （圓石塊）， flows gurgling （汩汩聲） in four seasons， with schools [groups] （3） of fish and shrimps playing in the water.

　　Spring coming， the fields look like a green carpet， and the willows （楊柳） by the river are putting forth a lot of tender branches. With breeze blowing， the long thin branches gently brush the cool and refreshing water； there groups of ducks are having fun.

　　Summer follows spring. The children sit on the large stones in the river， where they pat the water and make splashes （水濺聲）。 The sound of water， and the noise of the children's chatting and laughing are mixed together. The birds in the forest [woods] （4） are unwilling to be lonely， singing and dancing with joy.

　　Autumn is a bright and colourful season. The leaves of the trees on the hills are as red as fire as if [like] （5） pieces of rosy clouds. The paddy fields （水稻田） glitter in the sunshine， with dropping ears of rice （稻穗）。 They ripple in the autumn wind just like a golden sea.

　　In winter， the pine trees on the hills stand like soldiers. They are evergreen. The children lead an active life though the weather is very cold； they skate and dance in the snow， and make snowmen as well. Laughter spreads [can be heard] （6） everywhere.

　　Oh， how beautiful my hometown is！ It is simply a beautiful picture for every season.

　　湖北省浠水師範9407班 張關蘭

　　評 語

　　作者從四季著眼看家鄕，角度較爲巧妙，便於行文和描述。文章能準確把握家鄕四季景色的特點，語言運用得較好。但有幾処用詞不夠準確，脩改如下：

　　（1）這裡most不可能作“大多數”解，衹能理解爲形容詞的級。

　　（2）、（4）根據上下文，這裡用forest，似乎有點過頭，改用woods （=a place where trees grow， smaller than a forest） 較好。

　　（3）school可以表示魚群，但一般指較大群（同類魚），這裡根據上下文，還是用group較好。

　　（5）as if後接從句，或在一定上下文中接不定式等。這裡後接名詞還是加上介詞like爲好。

　　（6）spread強調主語可以伸展開，但laughter更應強調聲音，故改爲can be heard較好。