Twins？

Many of the people who have seen [see] （1） my sister and me can't help asking us the same question. Are you twins？No， my sister is three years older than I， I'll say. But in fact [However，] （2） we are very alike in appearances and almost of the same height.

　　My sister has beautiful and long hair. She is a quiet girl. On the contrary， I'm more active. In fact， I'm so active that my sister often says to me，“Could you be quiet？”I have my hair cut just like a boy's. I like Rock＆Roll， skating， swimming and playing table tennis. But my sister doesn't. She likes light music and playing the piano. My sister has such a wide range of knowledge that she can talk about things from ancient to present， from home to abroad， while I have nothing to say after several minutes of my speech. Besides， she likes to point out my mistakes during my speech， and never gives me the face [takes pains to save my face] （3）。 My sister is really very good at English. She went to college last year. Her spoken English， listening and writing are wonderful. She often talks to me in English. Usually I'm not able to catch her， so I often ask her to repeat in Chinese. But she will still speak in English again and again until I know what she means. Sometimes I think it not nice of her to do so， but I make [have made] （4） much progress in spoken English in this way. My sister always says to me，“You should learn from Karl Marx. When you are using a foreign language， you should forget all about your native language.”

　　Though we are quite different in character， my sister and I are very close [love each other] （5）。 We often go out together. There come two people. One is saying to the other，“Look， twins！”My sister and I will smile and say，“Twins？”

　　湖北省黃岡中學高二（2）班 金朝霞

　　評 語

　　文章用對比法生動地描寫了姐妹倆的外貌和性格。但標題及最後一段似乎沒能概括出全文的主題。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下：

　　（1）、（4）根據上下文，see my sister and me與ask us the same question應該幾乎是同時發生的，沒有必要用完成時態強調先後，而make much progress則應該用現在完成時表示已取得的成勣。

　　（2）下文很快又出現in fact，從脩辤學角度考慮，此処可改用However.

　　（3）原文有中國式英語之嫌，故改之。

　　（5）根據Longman詞典，close作“親密的”解時一般衹作定語用，而不能用作表語，如a close friend， a close relationship，類似的形容詞還有main，如main difficulties.相反，有些形容詞如alike，afraid等一般用作表語，而不能放在名詞前作定語，如：The two sisters are alike. 對英語形容詞的這種特點要注意觀察、歸納和小結。