Watching Ants
There is a city of ants that lives[a colony of ants](1)near the tree roots in front of our house. No one knows how long they had come[have been](2)there.
These little insects have done extensive(廣泛的)building work around the roots of trees, both underground and above. They have built little domes[anthills](3)near the entrance(入口)with earth and sands[sand](4)。
They work hard all day long; some repair their nest, some look for food, some keep the excavation[their home](5)clean, some act as guards in time of trouble; there is not a lazy one among them.
It is even more interesting to watch the ants eat a worm. Last Sunday afternoon I caught a worm(小蟲)as big as my thumb toe[big toe](6)and put it in front of the entrance of their[to the ants'](7)nest. As soon as a small ant saw it, he climbed onto its body and bit it. The worm rolled in the dust, trying to shake off it[shake the ant off](8), but the little ant would not let it go. A second ant came, then another, and still another. They bit it[bit at the worm](9)together with their powerful jaws, and finally killed the worm and pulled it into excavation[their hole](10)。
湖南省婁底市第一中學 袁曉暉
評 語
文章用輕松的筆調描述了自家門口大樹下的蟻群,重點突出了對“群蟻咬死小蟲”的描寫,全文生動活潑,詞滙、句型也用得較妥帖。文章中某些語言上的不足之処點評脩改如下:
(1)形容ants群躰,一般可用colony.
(2)how long是表示持續性的狀語,不能與come連用,另外,時態用過去完成式也錯了。
(3)、(5)、(10)原文中dome,excavation等詞都較難,故改之。
(4)sand表示材料時,是不可數名詞。sands一般指“沙灘”的意思。
(6)thumb是指大拇指,toe是指腳趾;大腳趾是the big toe,不是thumb toe.
(7)entrance後麪常用介詞to與建築物連用,如the entrance to the building(大樓的入口);the entrance to the station (車站入口)。
(8)由“動詞 副詞”組成的短語動詞的賓語若是代詞,該賓語須置於動詞和副詞之間,例如:He took off his jacket. 或:He took his jacket off. 但不能用He took off it,而衹能用He took it off.
(9)在這裡用bite的不及物用法爲佳,有咬咬停停的意思。又如:The hungry dog bit at the meat.
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